Im SorRy TaT CanT PeRfEcT...

Juh...

im sorry..

i cant b perfect 4 u..

n now is just 2 late..

v cant go bak anymore...

u change my life..

thankq..

u make me here..

u make me strengthen n walk til now..

i reali appreciate...

thankq so much..

cos u gave me so much happyness 2....

u make me noe tat wat cal love..

i learnt alot..

but....

i dono who u r ad...

u said tat i had change alot...

change 2 de jiang tat not u 1st noe n not u wan..

n oso said tat i din change 2 a beta guy 4 u..

i din.....

i owis wat i m...

im owis love u like last time..

n even now..

i still love u much n more den last time...

im v u owis...

but...

aikss..

i guess de ppl who change was u...

i tot u r de 1 who i will marry u..

n i put so much hope on u..

but..

wat i get now...

i feel cold 2wards u ad...

i reali dono who u r ad...

i.....

im speechless now...

u wil never change 4 me..

but i blame anything 2 u or tel any1..

n u owis said tat im childish...

said tat no nid me 2 waste time on u anymore..

n i owis try 2 make u more happy... 

n owis keep my feelin in my heart...

n just wan u not moody cos of me...
i owis try 2 change 4 u n oso protect u...

but i guess i no nid 2 do tat 4 u anymore...

cos u choose 2 b fren onli..

i wil try 2 4get all de hurt past...

n start my new life ad..
i wil move on ad de..

LoVe....

Aikss...

now i learnt tat love...

i tot love should not give up so easy...

should not leave each other wen each of them not good enof...

i tot i should not give up wen v havin prob..

no matter big or small prob...

i tot v should solve it 2gather...

but...

it totally diff from wat i think...

haiz..

now i onli noe tat...

love is leave n give up each other...

wen de another 1 is not good enof....

i wil..

i wil stil love her if anything happen..

eventou she is no more pretty as last time...

even she got bad habit...

haiz...

every1 told me tat im veri childish...

i noe im veri childish like tat...

but tat is wat make me love my bloved stil..

til old...

i stil wil wait..

n i wont 4get everything tat v had b4 de...

i noe she wont come bak ad...

i just wanna tel her tat...

juh...

i noe u wanna do it all along vtout me...

caterpillar in a tree...

grow up 2 bcome buterfly..

buterfly choose 2 leave de tree..

2 a wonderful world...

but buterfly...

buterfly...

u just nid 2 noe..

noe tat u can owis come bak 2 tis tree..

wen u tired...

wen u nid de tree..

de tree...

will owis b ur home...

it wont go anywhere..

but waitin u owis de...

butterfly...

just go any place tat u wan...

de tree will owis wish u  wait u de...

CoMe BaK 2 My RoOM~

2day..

so many things happen...

morning..

wake up...

de 1st things i do after open my eyes is look at my phone...

i tot my phone wil have a message there...

but no...

no message or cal..

haiz..

i cal her...

but wake her up tat time...

im so sorry 2 do tat...

i asked her out 2 teman me..

she rejected me...

she said tat dun wan hurt me ad...

she oso said tat is de best of 4 me..

haiz..

i guess she reali dono wat i hope...

nvm...

she samo say tat these few days...

she learn a new thing...

de thing tat she learn is..

haiz...

she said tat she just onli noe tat ppl wen loose something onli wil appreciate...

she said til like tat...

aikss..

i din until now onli appreciate her..

but i owis do..

reali...

cos...

maybe i show her less last time ad..

everytime n day wen i hav my break...

de 1st thing i wil think de is her... 

i were owis excited 2 have lunch or dinner v her...

i guess she dono all tat...

i tot not showin her all tat cos she wil un tat...

but i fail...

haiz...

i reali a failure...

im not a good bf i noe...

but im learnin....

i guess i no more chance 2 learn tat ad....

aikss...

afternoon 2day..

i wen 2 servis my laptop...

it kinda got virus ad...

bring it 2 a shop 2 servis...

everything cost 80bucks v a port...

nah...

nvm...

money not reali important 4 me ad...

den i went 2 accesory shop...

repair my car...

nite time..

i wen 2 my mum's fren house there..

celebrate a baby gal enof 1month...

she grow so much..

i feel tat...

her size kinda small...

maybe tat is normally a baby size...

or maybe she wil b a small Q size like her mum...

she is so Q wen she sleepin...

hope 2 have de chance 2...

i dono i wil hav tat time anot...

but wish i hav it...

i dono y.....

i wil give watever i can 2 my gf...

2 ppl tat i love...

i can hear wat her wanna tel owis...

i can lend her my shoulder wen she nid...

wen she sad or not feelin wel...

i oso dun mind wastin time on her...

i dun mind 2 use all de money on her...

but i just wanna her 2 listen 2 me wen im not happy..

understand me wen things go wrong...

b v me til old...

mayb durin tat wil owis not happy..

but i dun mind...

i stil wil hold her hand til de day i die...

isn't it hard 4 2 do tat 4 me??

haiz...

maybe i reali bad til not worth 4 a good gal 2 do it 4 me..

haiz...

I WilL wAiT 4 u dE...

just now...

i went 2 her house..

haiz...

i told myself not 2 cry infront of her...

but wen saw her...

my tears..

ish..

i reali cant control it..

i noe if i owis like tis...

i cant get 2 c her ad...

i noe....

maybe v cant get 2gather again...

i feel worth 2 try it...

like wat i said...

i noe i found de rite person ad..

haiz...

she told me 2 wait her 1 month...

i guess i noe wats de result ad de...

just dono y im stil willin 2 wait..

i wil try...

no matter how oso i wil wait de...

i dono i should reply her anot...

i dono i should leave her like tis til wen she find me anot...

but i sked i will fall 4 her more...

i sked tat i cant take off mysself next time...

can any1 tel me wat should i do ma??

2moro i gona leave tis place...

haiz...

finally....

i make her angry of me...

but my heart does not feel even bit beta...

now im on my own...

i got no1 2 tell wen im sad ad...

haiz...

i dono how onli can make her feel beta...

n i oso cant make myself stop thinkin bout her...

2moro...

is thursday.....

im going bak 2 my hometown by train...

haiz...

it reali happen wat i think..

i cant bring her heart bak v me...

i fail...

i hope tat she wil happier now...

i sure after someday...

i wil hear tat she is v some1 ad..

cos every1 now start 2 pikat her ad...

haiz...

i reali miss u...

i hav 2 sleep early...

cos 2moro early morning....

i hav 2 take train go bak...

n i think i wont stay here anymore..

cos i got no1 2 wait me here ad...

haIz.... iT ReALi BrEAk aD....

HaIz..

i guess....

our love end ad...

just now v had dinner....

i tried 2 hold her hand..

n she rejected me 4 times...

she said tat now she feel more comfort...

aikss...

just now...

i reali feel tat i had no more hope in my life...

i plan 2 make her angry...

1st..

i hug her...

i kiss her......

tat is all de true from my heart..

after tat i asked her wanna couple v me anot...

i noe she wil reject me de....

den i start my plan...

i ignore her...

make her angry n go bak 2 her room...

yeah..

i did it...

but dono y wen she turn bak n go 2 her room tat time..

i loose control myself...

i ran 2 her n hold her hand....

i dono y i will did tat...

maybe i stil love her a lot...

haiz...

come bak 2 my room...

i msn v her...

i purposely make her angry...

actuali my heart feel even more pain...

but i onli can do de is make her angry n 4get bout me...

i dono y im cryin again...

i reali love her...

i reali do...

i will wait 4 her til de day i die...

i noe after i make her angry..

she wil try 2 4get me...

n hope tat she will get a beta guy soon....

wen she said i disappointed her tat time....

my heart veri pain...

i will owis wait 4 u de juh...

i dono wat im typyin...

i oso dono wat im doing...

but i hope tat she will more happy from now...

take good care of urself juh...

i will wait 4 u de...

i may not owis find u...

i may not owis reply u...

but i will owis think bout u de...

i wil wait til tat day u come bak 2 me de....

i love u juh...

LoNelY HoLIdAy

aikss...

time pass so fast...

our love oso end up like tis ad...

tis week is my two break...

break of college holiday...

n oso break of my relation...

tot tis week can b v u...

bring u out 2 cinema..

or every place tat u wanna 2 go...

teman u..

but i guess i had no more chance ad...

i dono y i come bak 2 hostel...

maybe i stil waitin u come bak..

sorry...

im not good..

i  dono wat 2 do onli u will feel happy ad...

yesterday nite...

i sittin aside....

think so much of things...

think bout those day v been 2gather..

i feel so sweet..

but wen i think bak wat u said tat day...

wat u said 2 me tat day..

makes my heart feel pain n lonely...

tis week im going 2 b alone here...

yesterday..

some1 told me tat y i stil wanna couple bak v u....

i said i reali love u...

den he said...

'wat can u give her!!'

i reali dono how 2 answer..

n i answer him de truth...

tat time...

i ad noe tat i reali not suit u....

maybe is de worst 2 u....

not maybe..

is de truth..

haiz...

just can hope u will happy owis n get de best solution 4 urself...

take good care of urself k...

last i wanna said tat im stil waitin 4 u, n i love u juh....

wAt i Can dO..

i feel like callin u juh...

i reali miss u now..

but after saw ur message..

all ur frens encourage u not 2 b sad n find a beta guy...

den stop me from callin u ad...

but...

i cant so selfish...

i should let u go v a beta guy de....

i noe u can find a beta guy de...

haiz..

i hope it was a dream...

i hope u would say tat u comin bak for me...

mayb u dont love me anymore...

ya, u dont nid me anymore...

i reali love u juh...

i reali nid nid ur love...

i guess u wont view my blog ad since last time..

tat y i dare 2 say out everything here...

juh, i love u..

i hope tat v can b 2gather again...

but it just a dream i noe...

aikss...

Im LiVinG iN a cOlouRlEsS LiFe~

haiz...

my life going 2 b colourless soon...

thanks 4 b_ing v me so long..

u reali gave me a lot of good n happy memory...

i stil remember de 1st day i propose 2 u...

i actuali wanna propose 2 u at 31st of august de...

cos it is holiday...

tot can bring u out every year 2 celebrate our annivesary...

but u sleep ad...

til 12 something nie get 2 wake u up..

i played guitar...

sing n propose 2 u...

u finally accept me...

de 1st thing tat i told u was im a hot temp guy...

everytime wen i was angry, i will just simply say something 2 hurt u...

i noe u maybe 4get ad..

or maybe u just fedup of me ad...

yesterday...

i 1st was happy at 1st...

but...

nvm...

im owis lonely de...

just now i saw a message from u...

'I could still remember that it was yesterday. When we first met, everything was new to us, I’m shy, you’re shy. I don’t even dare to look into your eyes because I was scared. At first I felt guilty when you messaged me. Because at that time I know that you’re Michelle’s. But I still treated you as my friend. I still remember how we chatted on the phone, message and talk until late night. Everything was so sweet. On the day when you proposed, guitar made everything felt so touching and sweet. Until now, I could still remember the feeling, the excitement when you first called me. It was on a Monday, the day of your boxing tournament. I was really happy at that moment although I was busy. Actually before we were together, I liked you. I was always looking forward to get and read your messages. Because I wanted to chat with you more. You were the one whom I’ve always waited for. But I was shy, I’m not sure about my feelings. I’m afraid that you won’t like me back. So I just kept quiet, waiting for you to take action. Everything was very sweet at that moment. I really miss those times that we’ve spent together. Even when we argue, after a few hours we’re okay again. I remembered the first time when we argued was about Li Haur. I cried at that time, because I really don’t wanna let go of you. I really felt bu se de. At that time I just wanna hold you tight in my arms. Everything seems to be like forever for me and you. But the most hurtful thing that you’ve said to me was that I’m not sincere and I used you. I did not. If I really do, then why should I shed a tear for you. I’m not crazy to cry for no reasons. I cried because I love you, Jiang. Everytime when you are angry or moody. You said wanna break, my heart felt as if it broke into pieces. I really can’t describe how I felt. It seems like everything just happened yesterday. I can’t forget those sweet moments that I’ve spent with you. You’ve taught me a lot of things. When we ate dinner at Old Town yesterday, I asked you to explain but you didn’t. you just hold me hand. I know that you wanted to just keep quiet and never let go of me because you knew that everything is gonna be fine after this. Jiang, do you know that I feel very hurt each time when you say sorry to me? Its like a needle poking my heart and someone squeeze my throat. These few days I really feel very very sad. Very sad because you didn’t tell me the truth, didn’t explain to me. What am I? is it that hard to explain? Jiang, I’m sorry to make you wait for me all these while. I know I’m not worth and waiting is tiring and boring, I understand. I’m very sorry x 100. and I’ve realized that you’re more happy when you’re with your friends, you said that to me before. I’m sorry to waste your time. Sorry sorry sorry. Lastly, I wanna thank you to you too. You’ve made my life a colourful one before, I had so much fun and memories with you. All those times, I can’t and I won’t forget it forever. Jiang, you;ve made my life a sweet one. Thank you. Jiang, don’t smoke okay? Please stop! I don’t hope to see you with any sicknesses. I want you to be healthy always. Please remember me even if you wanna forget me. Okay? Sometimes I felt that its better that you sacrifice me away. I’m not worth, I’m not your type of girl that suits you the best. I’m not good enough to match with you. Maybe you think that I’m fake or not sincere but I just wanna tell you that I love you and I won’t forget you.'

a message from u...

u noe while i typin tis message b4 saw ur message...

my heart was so painful...

after saw ur message...

my heart even more ache n my tears keep droppin...

maybe...

maybe u dun nid me anymore...

im lonely now....

i got nothing...

im a looser...

im such a failure...

an asshole...

i noe tat i still love u...

n love u even more now...

tat y my tears keep comin out...

but i dun dare 2 hurt n disturb u anymore...

i can de is wrote out all my feelin here...

i will still keep u in my heart til i old...

tel u wat happened from my heart...

care bout u owis...

n wen u nid me i will owis b aroud 4 u....

last i just wanna 2 say i love u juh...

WaT i shOuld i do de next...

haiz....

my 1st problem not yet solve...

n yet 2nd, 3rd, 4th problem comin 1 n 1..........

im reali tired now a day..

i can feel happy bak bit wen im v my gf...

aikss...

but im stil owis make myself looks happy infront of u ppl..

cos....

no1 noe wat im thinkin...

but they give lots of comment...

say tat y la like tis...

y u wanna do tat...

but no1 c it frm my side...

ppl say tat im weird...

not tat i dun wanna tel u guys..

cos tellin u guys wil make me even more frustrating...

if u guy listen it frm my heart u guy will noe wat im thinkin de....

i just nid some1 2 listen frm my heart...

haiz....

EveryThinGs seEm like change ad..........

My love

i sometimes worried tat my beloved wil leave me..

sometimes i feel tat she change alot...

she seem din care bout me so much ad..

even wen v eatin dinner,

she owis holdin her phone...

playin games...

chattin v frens...

but keepin quiet bside me...

din chat me so much ad..

haiz...

im thinkin 2 much??

aikss...

maybe...

hope so i think 2 much..

i reali dun wanna 2 loose her..

i love her veri much..

sometimes i mayb 2 rude...

but im a rude guy...

my way is just like tis...

de 1st day i oso told ad tat im i rude guy...

i do care n love her like last time...

n even more..

maybe 2 much den wil sked 2 loose her...
"Juh...
sorry tat hurtin u owis..
i hope tat u will not leave me b4 i die or changed 2 a beta guy 4 u..
i care n love u owis more den u realise..."

new format of writin blog

HI...

welcome 2 my blog...

it seem tat i long time din write blog ad...

im so busy last few month...

workin...

den go college...

so many things happen tis few month...

argue v family...

argue v my gf...

i noe i had done so much bad n hurtin stuff 2 u all...

im sorry...

reali sorry 2 all de ppl tat i hurted b4....

i noe u all care bout me...

but i reali jus a stupid stubborn guy...

give me some time 2 change k..

i will try my best 2 change even more beta de...

time wil proof 2 u all de...